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1. What do you call a hippie's wife? A Mississippi!: 0; Geen stemmen

2. What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick? Put it on my bill!: 0; Geen stemmen

3. I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.: 0; Geen stemmen

4. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!: 0; Geen stemmen

5. Where did the computer go dancing? The disc-o!: 0; Geen stemmen

6. What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!: 0; Geen stemmen

7. What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!: 0; Geen stemmen

8. What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain? Hi Cliff!: 0; Geen stemmen

9. What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos? A chipmunk!: 0; Geen stemmen

10. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!: 1; 8%

11. Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!: 0; Geen stemmen

12. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!: 0; Geen stemmen

13. Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine? It was about a weak back!: 1; 8%

14. I just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.: 0; Geen stemmen

15. When's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie!: 0; Geen stemmen

16. What do you call a dangerous sun shower? A rain of terror!: 0; Geen stemmen

17. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they've bagels!: 0; Geen stemmen

18. What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes? Corny!: 0; Geen stemmen

19. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!: 0; Geen stemmen

20. What streets to ghosts haunt? Dead ends!: 0; Geen stemmen

21. What do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!: 0; Geen stemmen

22. What kind of dogs love car racing? Lap dogs!: 0; Geen stemmen

23. What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent? "Show me the honey!": 0; Geen stemmen

24. What do you call birds who stick together? Vel-crows.: 0; Geen stemmen

25. Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.: 1; 8%

26. What do you call it when one cow spies on another? A steak out!: 0; Geen stemmen

27. What happens when a frog's car breaks down? It gets toad!: 0; Geen stemmen

28. I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. Never again.: 0; Geen stemmen

29. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but its flag is a big plus!: 0; Geen stemmen

30. My favorite word is "drool." It just rolls off the tongue.: 0; Geen stemmen

31. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.: 0; Geen stemmen

32. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.: 0; Geen stemmen

33. What does a zombie vegetarian eat? "Graaaaaaaains!": 0; Geen stemmen

34. My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it's also terrible.: 0; Geen stemmen

35. Why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife? He needed his space.: 0; Geen stemmen

36. I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.: 0; Geen stemmen

37. I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.: 0; Geen stemmen

38. What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? "Oh sheet!": 0; Geen stemmen

39. I like to spend every day as if it's my last. Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding.: 0; Geen stemmen

40. Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!: 0; Geen stemmen

41. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.: 0; Geen stemmen

42. What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? Its butt.: 0; Geen stemmen

43. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!": 0; Geen stemmen

44. Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion!: 0; Geen stemmen

45. It's inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you are not a dad. It's a faux pa.: 0; Geen stemmen

46. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin, get in the car.": 0; Geen stemmen

47. I have an addiction to cheddar cheese. But it's only mild.: 0; Geen stemmen

48. Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? Because it's pointless!: 1; 8%

49. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.: 0; Geen stemmen

50. What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison!: 0; Geen stemmen

51. I was sitting in traffic the other day. Probably why I got run over.: 0; Geen stemmen

52. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll.: 0; Geen stemmen

53. What's red and shaped like a bucket?A blue bucket painted red.: 1; 8%

54. What don't ants get sick? They have anty-bodies.: 0; Geen stemmen

55. What do you call a fish with no eye? Fssshh.: 1; 8%

56. Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.: 0; Geen stemmen

57. When is your door not actually a door? When it's actually ajar.: 0; Geen stemmen

58. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.: 0; Geen stemmen

59. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.: 0; Geen stemmen

60. What's green, fuzzy, and would hurt if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.: 0; Geen stemmen

61. A communist joke isn't funny unless everyone gets it.: 0; Geen stemmen

62. What did one dish say to the other? Dinner is on me!: 0; Geen stemmen

63. What does a house wear? Address!: 0; Geen stemmen

64. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.: 1; 8%

65. Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.: 0; Geen stemmen

66. What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?Artificial Swedener.: 0; Geen stemmen

67. Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines.: 0; Geen stemmen

68. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.: 0; Geen stemmen

69. What do you call a man who can't stand? Neil.: 0; Geen stemmen

70. What's the dumbest animal in the jungle? A polar bear!: 0; Geen stemmen

71. I'm thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it's only holding me back.: 0; Geen stemmen

72. Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.: 1; 8%

73. I'm terrified of elevators so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.: 0; Geen stemmen

74. Have you heard of the band 923 Megabytes? Probably not, they haven't had a gig yet.: 0; Geen stemmen

75. What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.: 0; Geen stemmen

76. I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me.: 0; Geen stemmen

77. What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.: 0; Geen stemmen

78. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.: 0; Geen stemmen

79. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around.: 0; Geen stemmen

80. What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?"Oops!": 1; 8%

81. I watched hockey before it was cool. They were basically swimming.: 0; Geen stemmen

82. There's no hole in your shoe? Then how'd you get your foot in it?: 0; Geen stemmen

83. A cowherd counted 48 cows on his property. But when he rounded them up, he had 50.: 0; Geen stemmen

84. When the two rabbit ears got married, it was a nice ceremony. But the reception was amazing.: 0; Geen stemmen

85. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was too tired.: 1; 8%

86. A chicken coup only has two doors. If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.: 0; Geen stemmen

87. Three fish are in a tank. One asks the others, "How do you drive this thing?": 0; Geen stemmen

88. Why don't crabs donate? Because they're shellfish.: 0; Geen stemmen

89. What did Blackbird say when he turned eighty?"Aye, matey.": 0; Geen stemmen

90. How does your feline shop? By reading a catalogue.: 0; Geen stemmen

91. It's hard to teach kleptomaniacs humor. They take things so literally.: 0; Geen stemmen

92. Sunny-side up, scrambled, or an omelet? It doesn't matter. They're all eggcellent.: 0; Geen stemmen

93. Don't worry if you miss a gym session. Everything will work out.: 0; Geen stemmen

94. Ever tried to eat a clock? It's time-consuming.: 1; 8%

95. Who can jump higher than a house? Pretty much anyone. (Houses can't jump.): 1; 8%

96. What do an apple and an orange have in common? Neither one can drive.: 0; Geen stemmen

97. Why did the businessman invest in Smith & Wollensky? He wanted to stake his claim.: 0; Geen stemmen

98. Five guys walk into a bar. You think one of them would've seen it.: 0; Geen stemmen

99. What do you call a door when it's not a door? Ajar.: 0; Geen stemmen

Een van de overige 51 op https://bestlifeonline.com/actually-funny-bad-jokes/, nl.:: 0; Geen stemmen

: Totaal aantal stemmen: 12

Number9: Forum Diva; Berichten: 20591; Lid geworden op: 02 jan 2009, 20:37

Slechte grappen. POLL!

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Bericht door Number9 » 23 mar 2020, 22:59

150 stuks daarvan. Zo erg dat het weer hilarisch wordt (aldus de site zelf, en ik kan ze niet helemaal ongelijk geven).

Hier staan ze. Wat zijn uw (max.) 10 favorieten?

https://bestlifeonline.com/actually-funny-bad-jokes/

If Man is five and the Devil is six and God is seven, dan zal ik wel Number9 zijn.
6 afraid of 7, 'cause 7-8-9.

United Hope: Forumgod; Berichten: 18555; Lid geworden op: 12 okt 2013, 05:24

Re: Slechte grappen. POLL!

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Bericht door United Hope » 23 mar 2020, 23:07

dus ik moet allemaal flauwe grappen lezen om te kunnen stemmen ?

lolbroek

JOEPIE, FLAAKS GAAT NAAR SINT KILDA

Kryptozoid: Forumgod; Berichten: 19051; Lid geworden op: 25 jan 2009, 22:14; Contacteer:
Contacteer Kryptozoid

Website

Re: Slechte grappen. POLL!

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Bericht door Kryptozoid » 24 mar 2020, 01:47

United Hope schreef: ↑23 mar 2020, 23:07 dus ik moet allemaal flauwe grappen lezen om te kunnen stemmen ?

lolbroek

Zou bij de TK verkiezingen eigenlijk ook moeten.

"'Samenleving' is een biologische constructie."
— Kryptozoid, lid 69

Richardus: Meganerd; Berichten: 81496; Lid geworden op: 02 jan 2009, 17:34

Re: Slechte grappen. POLL!

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Bericht door Richardus » 24 mar 2020, 07:21

Ik vind het gros best

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

aka Ri'shad, de Parel van het Noordoosten

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